December 29, 2020

Fish pics - what the hell??

Why? Of all the animals you could pose with, you’ve chosen the slimiest and least fun to cuddle. Maybe the goal is to show a potential partner that you can provide for them, the modern equivalent of a stuffed boar above the fireplace, just hanging there, waiting to start a conversation about how difficult it was to catch but also it wasn’t a big deal because you do this all the time. But really, it was still a big deal. You should be impressed.

Or perhaps you really are a fisher-person. You want to find other fisher-people who will share your passion for standing stock-still in freezing water for hours on end, waiting, hoping to briefly hold in your hands a living manifestation of the words ‘slime’ and ‘muscle’, taking a picture with it while it experiences the worst moments of its life, while you smile and think to yourself “I am at my most attractive right now.”

Clearly, I am not a fisher-person. I don’t get it. But don’t worry, if half the profile pics I’ve seen are genuine, you have a lot of options. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I wrote this whole post specifically so I could say that.


Bottom line: I could have put wayyyy more puns in this post, but I tried reely hard not to.

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