February 15, 2021

Giving Compliments: A Delicate Dance

Spoiler alert: the way to a person’s heart is through authentic praise that you have actually put time into, not overused compliments. Find something unique you actually appreciate the person you’re talking to, and praise them genuinely. 


Caveat: this doesn’t mean love bomb them and tell them how obsessed with them you are; compliments have to be tactful, truthful, genuine, and delivered at the right time. 


Let’s take an example. You think they’re extremely attractive, right? Well, they already know that. A million and one people have already complimented them on their physical appearance, so you’re not going to win any brownie points by telling them how great their hair and eyes are. 


Instead, ask questions and find out some things that you think are special about the person.  Whether that’s their academic accomplishments, the worldliness they’ve acquired through their travels, or how loyal they are to their friends and family. Once you begin learning things about someone that most of the people they talk to haven’t actually taken the time to discover, there are so many ways to compliment them that are novel and unique; and therefore, that will make them feel appreciated, seen, and respected in a very special way. Remember: people might not remember the exact compliment you gave them, but they will always remember the way it made them feel. 


Don’t just give arbitrary and overused compliments; recognize and appreciate the person for the unique things other people haven’t put the effort into uncovering.


-- Kevin from the Keys Team, Professional Dating & Relationship Coach

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